[]CHALLENGE?!?!?!1/11/11[]


+100 Art Challenge+ (maybe this will help my artist's block rofl) (* = done) 26 completed so far

*1. Introduction [link]
*2. Love [link]
*3. Light [link]
*4. Dark [link]
*5. Seeking Solace [link]
*6. Break Away [link]
*7. Heaven [link]
8. Innocence
*9. Drive [link]
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
*15. Silence [link]
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
*19. Gray [link]
20. Fortitude
*21. Vacation [link]
*22. Mother Nature [link]
*23. Cat [link]
24. No Time
*25. Trouble Lurking [link]
*26. Tears [link]
27. Foreign
*28. Sorrow [link]
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
*32. Night [link]
33. Expectations
34. Stars
*35. Hold My Hand [link]
*36. Precious Treasure [link]
*37. Eyes [link]
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
*61. Fairy Tale [link]
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
*70. 67% [link]
*71. Obsession [link]
*72. Mischief Managed [link]
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
*92. All That I Have [link]
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
*97. Safety First [link]
98. Puzzle
*99. Solitude [link]
100. Relaxation

My Photography account :





[]On a side note[]

I'm sure my title says it all. Last week, I think wednesday, I woke up with extreme(but familliar) pain in my lower abdomen. Everything I tried to help the pain was futile, so off to the hospital I went. (btw, I HATE hospitals...I've been there too many times +_+ especially Emerg.) That was about 4am. Lucky for us, Emerg. wasn't as busy as it usually is, and after maybe an hour, I was admitted and got myself a bed. PRIVATE, thank god, and not out in the open, like I usually get. I got a nice nurse, who poked my left arm for an IV(never had one of those either -_-) about 5 times, then moved onto my right and got it in right away( I could FEEL THE IV PLASTIC THING HIT THE WALL OF MY VEIN it was DISGUSTING.). They took some blood and decided to test it for some times.

And of course, by the time we get in, the advil I took seems to be taking effect, since my pain had just melted away. Now, mind you, throughout this night, I was poked and prodded, not to mention pounded by the ultrasound(yeah, those? They look all gentle and nice? NUH UH. It hurt like hell! She had to keep digging, and now I know that, so next time, I'll be prepared -_- OH YEAH and she said, so where does it hurt? And I pointed out where it hurt where the doc's kept poking me, and then she decided to knead that area to shit, SOOO yeah ).

At about 10am, I was told that my appendix was inflammed and they would have to do surgery. I was like...in...the same day? So then I freaked out, mind you, although I get very sick, I have never had surgery before, let alone prepared to have surgery. So I was scared shitless even though I know its a common procedure, surgery is surgery and its serious! V_V; So the nice surgery team (not sarcastic, they were all SO sweet ^-^) told me that they were booked up and since my appendix wasn't bursting and I wasn't in any real pain (it baffled the ER doc, since usually people are doubled over and can barely move, and here I was sitting up in bed, lively as ever, saying I wanted to go home, which I really did ; especially after them announcing I would have surgery) they said my surgery would more than likely take place after 6pm. 6PM. Remember, this was 10AM at this time -_- So not only do I have to live with my scared OCD self for 8hrs, I have to THINK about WHAT TIME ARE THEY GONNA COME?! OMG. lol. I kept looking at the door, waiting to hear them say NAO. >.<

So having decided my surgery would be way late in the day(and after scaring me more with the possible things that could go wrong ^^+++++++ ) they decided to give me some morphine. OH morphine. That was fun. LOL. For any of you out there reading this, who have had morphine, know what I mean.

I was flying HIIIGH. LOL My ears felt like they wanted to pop and everything was so INTENSE(never been high in my life, mind you). AND just to top my stay there, they send in, cute asian doctor! ; Oh my. So here I am, on morphine, in a hospital gown, and in the same room as a very adorable asian guy, WITH my mom as well, and I'm just smiling like nothing can stop me lmao. So he gets a few laughs from me(asking how I feel and me telling him that I'm like WOOSH*hand swoops over head* XD) annnd pokes my already sore and tender appendix area, then he leaves.

After a while, the morphine wears off and I'm again attacked by a nurse to get even MORE blood, get this, from my poor left arm that was stabbed 5 times for the IV. -.- So why not one more stab they say! A little bit more waiting, at this point Dad, Seb and Vavo(grandmother) show up and bask in me, the wonderful, amusing hospital-gown-toting Ed in the really uncomfortable ER bed. Lol. Yes but I start to get some pain, so mom talked to the nurses about pain meds again and they said morphine. YAY. lmao. But this time, they want it to last long so instead of it going through the iv, they wanna put it under my skin. So, another poke of a needle(I hate needles, wonderful day for me, lmao). And guess which arm gets picked... LEFT ONE. lmao. Except it went into my bicep area. So that going through me and my MP3 in hand, I have a nap, only to wake up for about 10 minutes before a doctor comes in and asks me if I am ready for surgery. I of course said no. LOL but who is ever ready to go get cut open? lol.

Wheeling me out of my room, down the hall and to the surgery area, I said bye to mom and vavo(trying VERY HARD not to bawl) then was wheeled to a WAITING AREA while they prepare the operating room. OH JOY. Time alone with myself...in a hair net. LOL I was visited by three ghosts! Just kidding, no, one of the nurses came by and asked me questions, like if I could be pregnant(oh my god, I got asked that question 10 times, I was very close to saying. YES but just two moments ago...immaculate conception occured!) and such, then she went off to the room to help prepare. AND I was visited by one of the assistants to surgery, nice guy, who I asked my questions about pain and anesthesia(dear god, thats probably not spelled right), then he went off to prepare. Finally, the (deargod) Anethesiologist introduced himself (Hello, I'm going to be the one putting you under, how are you? He asked, and I simply replied "Well, how do you think I am? " and he laughed), another very kind man. Then after that, I was alone again, choking up but trying very hard not to cry.

Maybe 5 minutes passed before I was wheeled into the OR, which btw, cured my fear. It was SO COOL. Almost like every OR I've seen on tv, to one exception of no observation booth thing. It was quite awesome though.

So I heard them talking about putting something in the IV as well as the mask, which they put on me, assuring me it was just oxygen. And as I lay there, looking up to the cieling, I was thinking "What if I can't fall asleep, what if I'm awake, what if I wake up" then I tasted something different in the oxygen, all the while thinking: "What if I can't fall asleep"

And I did right after that. Lmao. Its interesting how its not like sleeping, its like closing your eyes then opening them 45 minutes later. Ah yes...later... I was awakened by the bitchiest nurse I've eve had. "MELISSA! You're not breathing enough, wake up. Deep breaths." and so me, in a drunk sleepy stuper, awaken to the world(in the recovery room) but can barely open my eyes(I think it was the two hour sleep matched with the drugs from surgery). So for the next, I have NO IDEA HOW LONG, I kept falling asleep, only to be woken up by Nurse Bitch, being told to breath deeply. I'M EXHAUSTED! GIVE ME A BREAK! It's not like I wasn't breathing,I was just breathing slowly, and Seb believes it was from the morphine right before surgery. But of course they are concerned and all, but seriously, they kept telling me to go to sleep and then continued to wake me in alarm to tell me not to sleep! Oh it was frustrating.

I saw my Vavo and Dad,and I remember vividly my very sleepy slirry voice, trying to keep my eyes partially open to see them before they got kicked out. Then mom came in and told me she was going to stay the night. I was so wacked, I told her not to, because I know she's in pain and had little sleep like I, then she got kicked out too. But what really pissed me off was Nurse Bitch comes to me and says: "You're 19, you don't need your mommy to stay with you." I was SO PISSED. I'm like, in my head of course because I was wacked, what the DUCK is your problem! Stupid bitch! Like seriously, keep your mouth shut, god, my mom cares for me a lot, and she's worried, alright! Bloody bitch...

So I fall asleep again, and at this point, mom tells me that she asked to come see me again and Nurse Bitch said: "No. She's sleeping". Meanwhile she comes to me, wakes me up and says: "Melissa! Your mom wanted to come see you but I told her no because you were sleeping." And I'm like, wacked still but in my head, WHAT THE HELL! WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP THEN!? -_-+++ OH MY GOD this woman was DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!

Sleeping, I heard some commotion and listened to hear Nurse Bitch saying: "Ok, I'm going home!" and I'm like BYEBYE, not seriously, but in my head again lol. But god was she annoying. And after she left, I was not bothered again.

No, I was awakened by the sweetest nurse who gave me a cold drink(haven't had a drink since 4am! and that was a tiny sip of water to take with pills) and treated me kindly. Just two nurses and I left, now on oxyen, alone in the room. The hospital was packed and I believe I was waiting for a room I could stay in(by now, my parents had gone home...I was alone, but the nice nurses made it easier), which I didn't get one until 12:30am.

Oncology, not where I expected to be and in a semi-private room nontheless. It was a bit frightening at first but once again, a sweet nurse was in charge of taking care of me. She had to keep taking my vitals all night, so I had an interrupted rest, but a rest in a COMFORTABLE bed, at least. This was when they started me on Perks. I had to take two, for one did nothing for me. YAY. lol. So once more...I was loopy. Not as much as morphine, but dizzy, lightheaded and very much in pain. The first time I got up(bathroom only, lol) I had never felt so much pain in my life and walking was even worse. You see, I have three incisions: all about 2-4cm in size(at this point I had not seen my stomach, I didn't want to look lol)the one in the navel where the laporoscope went in, was indeed the most painful. When I first walked towards the bathroom, with every step it felt like my guts would just fall out. It was so disgusting. Sooo much pain in my whole abdomen, for they said that while in there, they would look around my other organs to see if they were ok. HENCE, pushing organs everywhich way to search. So my whole internal organ area, was in bruising pain from being batter around.

It was difficult to get up on my own, but I didn't want to bother anyone so I did it anyway, thats just me. But anyway, I slept with my MP3 until about 4am when it died T_T and i had no way of falling asleep now. I was awake for a bit until I discovered my oxygen(it puts me to sleep for some reason... lmao... I've known this for a while, since I've been to Emerg so many times for my asthma.) was still with me, so I put it back on and bang, fell asleep.

I knew my parents were coming at 10, and when I was awakened it was but 7am, MORE WAITING to be discharged and return home. It was hard but eventually, they showed up and I was glad to see them. I was changed into my normal clothes so fast, I dunno how I did it LOL. But they talked to me BRIEFLY about being at home, no heavy lifting for 2 weeks, bed rest such and such. That was it. And seeing how I still had the guts falling out feeling Iasked dad if he thought they would let me use a wheel chair, and they had already planned to supposedly(thank god) but they couldn't find one and I ended up with a shitty one -.-

That was just wheel getting stuck in the pedal for my left foot and so on. I was happy to leave though, and when I got home I took some perks and went to sleep for a very long time in my parent's bed. Much more comfortable and roomy than my own(I've been there, ever since, I think this is my last day here, lol damn... back to my shit bed V_V).

Over the next few days I got visitors, not many, just my vavo with flowers and my cousin with flowers...then Ruki with two cards and a present <3. It was nice, since I was very lonely in there, lol had to keep the door shut due to affectionate cats AND flowers now lol. I got to see lots of new movies on the small screen(laptop, thank god...I dunno what I would do without it since i couldn't leave the room) and I occasionally got mom, seb or dad visiting for a while. ZCan't expect them to remain forever in the boring room lol.

I think about maybe 3-4 days ago I moved down to the living room for the first time to get walking and moving, so I've been going there every day to watch tv/play wii lmao. much more amusing.

Thing that sucks is that AN is TOMORROW, and when I got the surgery I was worried I would have to miss it. BUT I've progressively got better, still in pain but I went off the perks the other day and now the pain is just brusing on my stomach(around the navel incision...PROLLY from reaming back forth with the thing >.< and the occasional pain under the bandage. Now mind you, I sleep on my side and for the passed week and a bit I've had to sleep on my back...so uncomfortable and hard to keep there. It hurts the incision if I lay on my left and if I lay on my right, where my appendix used to be hurts >.< lol. I can't win, but OH WELL. I'm walking around, not fast but not bad. I'm eating better, getting back into my crap sleep schedule(sleep at 2, wake at 12, except today, I made the dire mistake of trying to lay on my side last night, I was awake passed 3am....and up at 8... V_V I'm so tired...) and I feel better, except the pain.

So essentially, tomorrow is going to be an in and out sort of thing. No meetint Vic or Yuri (I'm gonna cry....) and no picture taking. Just in , get what I want and out. I think it'll tire me out too quickly and we have a 2 hour drive to and back...so I think it would be wise not to anger my abdomen.

It sucks, but at least I can still go, thats all that matters... now I just have to try to make it to the bank today T_T goodluck to me... SIGH.

Anyway, I thought I should update you....people on dA since I haven't uploaded let alone been on for a while. lol. I'm fresh out of ideas on drawings and this is the first real time I've been on my laptop since before my operation...and I'm not going to be on long, because I want to rest and be well for tomorrow.

So, I shall perhaps tell you about AN sometime after...lol

Now I go try to sleep...or perhaps eat lol..stretch my legs!

Ciao!

~Ed

Oh! and ps... this is the LONGEST JOURNAL i have written in months! LOL. x3

[]Info on me[]

Name: Melissa
Nickname: Edward
Nickname origin: nicknamed after Edward from Cowboy Bebop(due to same skin, red hair[dyed], lanky body and craziness o0)
Current age: 18
Eye colour: dark brown
Hair colour: dark purple with red highlights
Height: 5'6 I think...

Likes: Anime, yaoi, ramen, pocky, Uchiha Sasuke, watching movies, hanging with my friends, DDR, PS2, cosplaying, taking pictures, roleplaying
Dislikes: yuri, lack of inspiration, people stealing other people’s art or art style
Interests: drawing, writing, singing, dancing

Favourite Bands/Singers: Dir En Grey, Panic! At the Disco, Silverstein, Atreyu, Within Temptation, The Rasmus, Gazette, Lights, Jordin Sparks, Kill Hannah
Favourite Song: Drive My Soul - Lights
Favourite Food: Spicy foods!
Favourite Drink: Coca Cola, Sprite
Favourite Alcoholic Drink: Sake, Bacardi Breezer, Pornstar, Purple Rain
Favourite Anime: Naruto, Trinity Blood, DeathNote, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Full Metal Alchemist, Desert Punk, OURAN HOST CLUB!
Favourite CURRENT Movie: I am Legend
Favourite Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, L, Mugen, Jin, Spike, Roy Mustang, Jean Havoc, Envy, TAMAKI! KYOUYA! HIKARI KAORU! HONEY! MORI!:3
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[]Watchers <3[]